He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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