I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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