We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize