return my video game
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
