Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize