She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
