the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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