And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
