Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
