Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
