Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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