The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
