She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
