i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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