your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
