bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
