I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Thank you for not boning my boss.
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Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.