Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.