I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out