Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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