This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
