I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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