Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
