Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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