Buhtt sex?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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