maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
