So drunk its hurt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
