More tranny stories later!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
