He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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