Sry I called you an 8
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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