How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
