I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
