The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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