Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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