He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
