Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.

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  (724): He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death. http://tfl.nu/mm9y
  Replies (15) Good night (581) Bad night (2507)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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  (313): so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it. http://tfl.nu/rth5
  Replies (1) Good night (2827) Bad night (538)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17266) Bad night (1191)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  It was like doing yoga with his dick in me

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  (307): It was like doing yoga with his dick in me http://tfl.nu/3yb0
  Replies (107) Good night (9561) Bad night (794)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

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  (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service. http://tfl.nu/dlye
  Replies (89) Good night (11381) Bad night (731)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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  (252): I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son. http://tfl.nu/kdpy
  Replies (27) Good night (8202) Bad night (1485)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.

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  (405): defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far. http://tfl.nu/t2l0
  Replies (24) Good night (4346) Bad night (1422)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.

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  (703): i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship. http://tfl.nu/7io7
  Replies (12) Good night (753) Bad night (4162)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...

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  (614): story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended... http://tfl.nu/ewnx
  Replies (1) Good night (2074) Bad night (896)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.

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  (641): I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women. (515): That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage. http://tfl.nu/mozw
  Replies (5) Good night (2322) Bad night (927)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

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  (734): i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen http://tfl.nu/gv17
  Replies (12) Good night (1567) Bad night (688)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  I don't see the problem

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  (807): My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive. (1-807): I don't see the problem http://tfl.nu/s96d
  Replies (5) Good night (1585) Bad night (523)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.

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  (214): I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick. http://tfl.nu/4v25
  Replies (8) Good night (1893) Bad night (479)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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  (573): She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex. http://tfl.nu/fa1q
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (589)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived

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  (561): And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived http://tfl.nu/iher
  Replies (5) Good night (306) Bad night (733)

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