i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.