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i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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