you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed