Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
