He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
