Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
