he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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