I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize