Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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