Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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