Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize