You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
