yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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