I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
