I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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