and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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