My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize