I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
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She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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