but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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