how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
