I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
