dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he was CRYING into my vagina
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
