Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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