i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize