She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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