Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Less talking, more tequila
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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