I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
where are my eyebrows?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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