Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.