I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.