My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
