You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?