Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
im holly from the hills drunk
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia